To many people who choose to live their D/s 24/7, the fact that the relationship is always there, tied in with all we do, creates more depth to the relationship than a part time one. However, there are some factors which will by definition hinder a D/s relationship as well.
These "hindrances" to the relationship should be seen as stumbling blocks to be overcome, through inventiveness and good planning, not as obstacles to prevent a D/s relationship from happening at all. In many cases where one or both of the partners in a D/s relationship are parents, the biggest hurdle we must face is that of children in the home.
Children are a natural stop sign for a D/s relationship because they have no understanding of the power exchange or corporal punishment concepts involved. What mum and dad might be doing would seem unnatural and very odd to them, because in many cases their parents could well appear to be acting "out of character". To a small child, seeing dad lecturing mum, or even wandering into a bedroom to find dad holding a crop and mum over a chair in tears, would not only be misunderstood, but frightening and upsetting too.
To continue an ongoing D/s relationship with children around is not impossible by any means, but it must be done with several things in mind. First and foremost, the children must come first and this subject is discussed elsewhere in this site. D/s is about a mutual power exchange, and this exchange happens as a mental and emotional bonding between Dominant and submissive. Whether we choose to enhance that power exchange with the use of toys, and physical play matters not: it's always in the mind. All that said a D/s relationship that is ongoing with kids around can be very rewarding, and make the participants very inventive about their D/s.
Communication is vital. The use of pre-arranged triggers may be very important: a touch, a little ritual, which to others means nothing but means so much to those involved may be used, even in front of children. Of course there are some physical aspects too. A sub can wear clothing without underwear, at request of Master, or even some toys, like butt plugs, or clamps without any outward sign of being any different. It is important that these ideas are discussed, and worked out, and this discussion in itself enables the bonding and power exchange to work.
It has to be said, too, that the term "children" can include babies, toddlers, infants, and teenagers. Each needs to be dealt with in a different way. It's unlikely that a nine year old will understand that mum and dad have chosen a particular way to live their lives, but a sixteen year old may well be in a position to understand better if some things are not kept hidden. Again this is about communication: communication with ones children in this instance, and who better to decide on when and in what way, than the parents themselves?
It is vital, too, that parents still maintain the "parent" aspects of their lives, and very often this has to be done entirely separately from D/s. Parents have joint responsibility for their children, and therefore will need to have joint input into the wellbeing of the child, and decisions may not be best left to the Dominant, especially where the sub is the parent, and the Dominant is not. This very often happens where D/s relationships begin later in life, and one or both parties have children from previous marriages.
As a parent of young children, the bedroom may well be a place that is a private area, especially once the children are in bed. However, it is worth bearing in mind that you might always be interrupted by a child, or have to stop what you are doing to tend to a child that has had a nightmare and woken late at night. To lock the door is one answer, but is also not always a good sign for children, if they need mum, or dad, and find the bedroom door locked. Of course it should also be remembered that if the door is locked, once whatever is being done is complete, the door ought to be unlocked again, allowing access. Many parents do ask their children to respect the bedroom as a private place, and to knock before entering, but even so, children will forget, at least until they are a little older.
The sound of physical activities like spanking or flogging can be quite loud, and carry through a house, especially at night. Of course there are ways to deaden the sound; drapes and such, and even soundproofing, and each couple must make these choices according to their own situation. Failing that they have to find ways to pursue the relationship on a more "mental" or "less noisy" level.
For those whose physical relationship is important it may be worth considering other options. Make arrangements for the children to stay with friends, or relatives, or hire a babysitter, to allow you to get away for an evening, to a hotel or party. Always be prepared though to change plans at the last minute if needs be, as again I would stress that children ought to come first.
Living D/s with children in the home can be stressful at times, by not always allowing us to openly admit our needs, and wants, but if approached in the right way, and with a positive attitude, overcoming these obstacles can also make for a deeper, and more fulfilling relationship too.
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